Q & A

This week's question is regarding an all-too-common issue confronted by parents today: video games...

Q. My boys love playing video games on their dad's x-box--the sports games in particular. I prefer they play with toys that will develop their brains and imagination, so I limit the gaming as much as possible. Am I just being a mom who doesn't get the whole male pre-occupation with video games, or is it not good for them?

A. To answer this question, we've called in some help!

First of all, we want to recommend a recent article by Dr. Al Mohler entitled "Video Games--The New 'Playgrounds of the Self?'", which offers both educational and challenging insight into the world of "gaming." As parents it is vital that we be informed on issues related to our children's physical and spiritual well-being so we can make wise decisions on their behalf. Hopefully, reading this article will help you do that.

But secondly, we have asked two moms and pastors wives--who between them have no fewer than eight boys--how they, following their husband's leadership, have handled the issue of video games in their homes. Both of these families have been long-time friends of ours, and we have observed up-close for many years the godly fruit of their parenting in the lives of their children.

Today we'll hear from Valori Maresco, mother of five boys ranging in age from one to sixteen. Here is what Valori says about their approach to video games in the home:

My husband Kenneth and I have always been on the same page regarding video games, so it hasn't been something we've wrestled with as a couple, although we have had several talks with the boys!  Up until last year, with boys aged 16, 15, 13, 6, and 1, we did not own any kind of video games that you hooked up to the television set (X-box, Play Station, or Game Cube).  We did, however, have computer games and had to set guidelines for these.  We preferred  the computer games because there were more educational-type games available, although we did own some sports games and other fun games as well.

Our general practice with computer games was 1 - 2 hours on weekends only; no computer games during the school day.  One of the reasons we limited play to weekends was because we found that one of our sons was having a hard time doing his school work whole-heartedly since he was distracted by his desire to play video games so badly when he was finished.  It was apparent that his heart was too drawn to this form of entertainment! And we wanted him to cultivate more of a love for reading than video games.

For the last 2 or 3 years, all of our boys would put X-box on their Christmas list, but we always told them that we had decided that we weren't going to buy them one, even though we did allow them to play a limited amount of video games with friends.  It wasn’t that we were totally opposed to the games themselves as much as we were not wanting the constant lure and draw of these games in our home.

This past year, after my husband sought counsel from several respected friends, we bought the boys a Game Cube for Christmas.  We felt the boys were in a place where they were able to follow our guidelines, without temptation, and all of them had become good and consistent readers.

We chose Game Cube over X-Box because it offers more child-friendly games (for our younger sons) as well as sports games.  The X-box culture seemed more to focus more in the Mature games category. As we reviewed the games available on the different platforms, we did not want our boys going through the X-box section, and set clear guidelines for going into video game stores.

We still have the basic guidelines that we used with the computer games:  no video games on school days for the older boys, and only 1 hour per day for each of them when they are allowed to play.  Our younger son is sometimes allowed to play on a school day, but we try not to make that a daily practice so that it is not taking the place of what we feel are more fruitful activities, such as outdoor play, reading, spending time with the family, etc.

So, while we are not all out opposed to using certain video games as a low-priority form of entertainment, we do seek to limit their use in our home in order to keep them in their proper place.  We have found that in doing this, they really have not become a big distraction to our boys. 

Kenneth and Valori's wise parenting has obviously served their children and promoted godliness in the home. Tomorrow we will be allowed to observe what "gaming" looks like in the home of Steve and Janis Shank. Stay tuned...