“I’m trying to get him to have consistent quiet times and be more passionate for the Lord. And I know that we’ve crossed the line more than a few times in the area of purity. But he says he really loves me and I love him. I’m sure he’ll shape up once we’re married. I can’t live without him.”
As women, our desire for marriage can be so strong, that we’re willing to settle for what John Ensor calls, “the immature, selfish, ungodly man” or even fall victim to the “deceitful and cunning predator.” But now, we have the “Manhood Test Kit"—the essential tool for determining if a man is ready to be married, or not. And it’s this: does he obey God by leading your relationship in purity?
I can’t say it better than John Ensor has already has:
“Men willing to wait, and wanting to wait, will test positive. It is not a lack of sexual interest; it is a healthy fear of God. It is love, which at this point rightfully expresses itself as protection frm sin and shame. If he weakens, help him succeed. If all else goes well in the development of the relationship, you know you are marrying a godly man, one who has self-control and a clear sense of his calling as a man.
Let me just add that the “Manhood Test Kit” is most effective in the context of community. Make sure you are asking for and seriously considering the counsel of godly men and women around you as you test the maturity of the man you may marry.
Once again, we’d like to suggest a book by Joshua Harris to be read in conjunction with Doing Things Right. In addition to Sex is Not the Problem (Lust Is), his book Boy Meets Girl talks about how to walk out a godly, pure relationship in the context of the local church.
May God raise up many godly men who are committed to leading in purity as they walk toward the altar. And may God grant the women they are leading the discernment and wisdom to test their character against the straight edge of God’s Word.