girl talk

Always in a Busy Season

Yesterday Mom talked about the challenges of the busy fall season. As a mom with young kids, I feel like I’m always in a busy season—spring, summer, winter, or fall! However, I did start Andrew's homeschooling year a couple of weeks ago. And Liam recently began weekly tutoring for a slight learning disability.

These new responsibilities only add to the constant feeling of “being overwhelmed” and “having no time.” And they only increase the temptation I already face to rationalize away my quiet times, to try to do it all in my own strength. That’s why I need to cultivate our second indispensable quality: dependence upon God.

Even though I might not be able to have extended times each and every day, I must not neglect my relationship with the Lord simply because I have young children. Because the truth is, I need His strength and wisdom now more than I ever have! Whether it means getting up early or taking time over the boys’ rest-time, I must make every effort to seek God’s face and receive His grace.

Recently, I’ve begun “tracking” my times with the Lord again. I write down how much time I spend with the Lord each day, or a “0” for none at all. This is not a legalistic attempt to earn God’s approval. Rather, it is to help remind me of the importance of seeking God and to help keep me from neglecting my relationship with Him. Janelle has made a cute little chart that you are welcome to download for your own personal use.

On this topic, I want to encourage you to read an article by Donald Whitney, author of Simplify Your Spiritual Life. He both empathizes with the unique challenges a young mom faces, and yet encourages us not to neglect our pursuit of the spiritual disciplines. But even if you don’t have young children, this is a timely article for all of us who are crazy busy: “Do What You Can.” And do it all in the shadow of the cross.

A Busy Woman's Survival Manual

Whew! After devotions, exercise, grocery store run, beds made, dishes done, house straightened, laundry underway, Chad homeschooled, soccer carpool completed, editing project for my husband finished—I can finally attempt to write a post

Life is busy!

And it’s not just me. Whether you are a student, holding down a job, or caring for a family—the fall season unfailingly fills our lives with lots to do.

So what does it look like to glorify God in the midst of a busy season? My girls and I felt a need for fresh perspective, and so, we figured, maybe you do too. Drawing from thoughts we’ve posted previously, we want to consider three indispensable qualities for busy, even hectic times like these.

The first must-have to survive—and even thrive—during busy seasons: humility.

I still remember the wise and helpful counsel my husband CJ shared with me many years ago when I was having one of those “I just can’t get it all done" breakdown crying sessions. When he finally got the chance to speak, he said: “Carolyn, only God completes His to-do list. We are not God. We are finite creatures with serious limitations. Therefore we need to humble ourselves by accepting our limitations and draw upon God’s strength to simply do what we can.” CJ’s advice not only helped me then, but continues to benefit me to this day.

Here are 3 simple ways we can be mindful of our limitations as we make our to-do lists these days:

1.      Separate the-really-do-matter items from the really-don’t-matter items—of course doing the really-do-matter items first.
2.      Simplify the really-do-matter items where possible. (e.g. pizza for dinner or store-bought cookies for entertaining.)
3.      Trust God for all the things on the list that don’t get done.

Let’s honor God by responding to our “endless” list of to-dos with humility—joyfully accepting our limitations and simply doing what we can.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2

Your Dream House

Speaking of dream houses, do you (like me) find yourself desiring what you do not have?

You may be longing for the day when you can move away from your parents or get rid of your roommates in exchange for a husband and home. Or maybe you can’t wait until you and your husband can finally afford to purchase a house rather than pay rent on an apartment. Or possibly you resent being stuffed into a small house with a large family. What you wouldn’t do for a larger dwelling place!

Do you (like me) find yourself tempted to be discontent with your home?

If so, then this counsel author Randy Alcorn once gave a discontent couple is for you (and me) today:

“When I was a pastor, a couple came to my office and told me they wanted to be able to give more money to the church and to missions. “But we’ve always had this dream for a beautiful home in the country,” they added, “and we can’t seem to shake it.  Is that wrong?”
          No it isn’t.  In fact, the dream of a perfect home is from God.  It’s just that such a dream cannot and will not be fulfilled in this life.  Our dream house is coming; we don’t have to build it here.  In fact, we can’t. (In Light of Eternity, pp. 155-156.)

We may never have that perfect home we desire here on earth. But “our dream house is coming!” It’s in heaven, waiting there for us, as Jesus promised: “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” (John 14:2)

Dear Lord, may my mind and affections be set, not on the things of this earth, but on my eternal home in heaven where I will one day be with you. This is my ultimate dream house—and not just a dream, it is a certain hope! Thank you for the work of your Son on the cross, which brought me into your family, and, one day, will bring me into your home forever!

My Dream House

Chad and I went to the dentist this morning. What was I thinking scheduling a dentist appointment the day after coming home from a getaway with my husband?! Talk about assaulting the senses—to go from the bliss of romance with my husband to sitting in the dentist chair in less than 24 hours! At least Chad and I didn’t have any cavities, which was the only redeeming aspect of our visit.

Anyway, I forgot to bring the book I’m presently reading, so I ended up flipping through one of the magazines on display in the waiting room. The theme of this particular issue was “Planning your Dream House.” As I surveyed the glossy pictures of these gorgeous homes I began to imagine what my dream house would look like—situated on the waterfront, with a large front porch and plenty of rooms for my children and grandchildren to visit.

After a moment or two of fantasizing, I came to my senses. How quickly I had been drawn in by the worldly, self-centered agenda of this magazine! As a Christian woman, my “dream house” shouldn’t be one of mere aesthetic beauty, or luxurious comfort. Rather, I should aspire to have a home like the one Peter Marshall once described as possessing “an atmosphere in which it was impossible to keep from thinking of God.”

I want those who live in and visit my home to experience peace, order, beauty, joy, and laughter—all reflections of the gracious character of our Savior. Now that’s a house worth dreaming about—and working for!

Because They Did It First

You’ll have to pardon me. I don’t have a lot to say these days about anything except surviving morning sickness. I know there are big things going on in the world right now. But for me, life is simply about keeping breakfast down.

When I feel desperate in the face of another day of sickness, I think about the strong women I know who’ve endured much worse in order to give birth to their children--most notably, my great-great grandmother, Catherine Layman (pictured left with husband Martin). Here’s her story:

“Catherine was…born prematurely [in 1855] weighing one and a half pounds, and small enough to fit in a quart measure. Tradition tells us that her face could be covered by a half-dollar and her palm by a grain of corn. She was fed with a medicine dropper and carried around on a pillow wrapped in a blanket until age six months.” (Martin A. Lahman Family History)

At age nine, when her family fled the Civil War, she weighed a mere 37 ½ pounds. As full-grown adult, she was only 4 feet, 10 inches tall. But, this little lady went on to bear 15 children—one of whom was my great-grandfather John Calvin Layman, (gotta love those Reformed roots!).

My point? If Great-Great Grandma Kate can have 15 children, well, then I can make it through pregnancy number two.

As interesting as Catherine’s story is, I draw even more encouragement from women I know—especially my mom, but also my Aunt Janice, and other dear friends whose morning sickness was much more potent than mine is. I vividly remember both my mom and aunt faithfully caring for their families in between trips to the nearest facility. I have dear friends who have managed households and toddlers while feeling wretchedly ill.

I’m sure none of them realized they were teaching me in those moments. But they were. Their lessons of perseverance, of faithfulness, of peace and joy in difficulty and of love for their families have marked my life. I find strength in God to make it through the day because they did it first.

A Little Baking Trial

I tried a new recipe this weekend – Chocolate Fudge Layered Banana Cake. Part way through making the cake I discovered I had underestimated the amount of bananas needed for 2 1/2 cups mashed plus 2 bananas, sliced. I was at Kristin’s house, babysitting my grandsons, so Andrew, Liam, Owen and I went on a little excursion to Safeway to buy more bananas. After the boys were in bed, I set out to finish the cake only to realize I had the wrong chocolate for the ganache filling. This meant no more cooking that night.

Yesterday, I headed back to the store to purchase the semisweet chocolate. Equipped with the right chocolate, I started to prepare the filling. As the heavy cream was simmering on the stove I went to get the sour cream out of the refrigerator. However, no sour cream was to be found. I had left it at Kristin’s house the night before and Kristin wasn’t home and her house was locked. I had to go back to the store for the THIRD time (or the FOURTH time if you count the initial shopping trip when I supposedly had purchased all the ingredients in the first place) to buy sour cream.

Now the cake would have been worth the trouble if it had turned out to be mouth-watering delicious. But it didn’t. I don’t think I’ll be trying any new recipes for a while. However, in moments like these, I can rejoice in the sovereignty of God. Because every trial—big or very small—is working for my good. Even recipes that flop.

A Senior Challenge

Congrats to all of you who graduated this month!

Every May our youth ministry has “Senior Challenge Night.” On this evening the graduating seniors get a chance to publicly address their underclassmen. They get five minutes to challenge them to live their high school years for the Lord. A few of these seniors addressed the Covenant Life Church congregation and we have included their words here.

Parents, you may want to consider using these with your teens. But you don’t have to be anywhere near high school to benefit from these truths.

Stacey
So many people today have categorized ‘teenage years’ as ones distinguished by rebellion and foolishness; characterized as a time to ‘find yourself,’ a time when a young person can only associate with their peers, a time of understandable disobedience of authorities, a time where we are incapable of responsibility and a time where being friends with your parents is just downright weird. This is clearly not the way that God characterizes our teenage years in the Bible. Read more.

Brett
If you were to ask me: ‘what has been your most significant means of grace over your high school years?’ I would say, without hesitating, that my parents have been the greatest means of grace in my life. Read more.

Timi
Deceitfulness is a trap that is very easy for teens to fall into, and it is this very trap that I fell into in my teen years. Read more.

Hannah
Aside from our salvation, this church is one of the greatest blessings that God has given us, and I believe that it is only right to give thanks to Him for it.  One of the things that He has been showing me over my past four years of high school is not to take the church for granted.Read more.

David
There exists a temptation for all of us, and especially us youth, to allow the phrase. ‘living in light of eternity’ to become a cliché. I want to ask all the youth a question: What could be more important than being ready for the moment you die, the moment that mist disappears? Read more.

Staying Current

Being a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a homemaker, a homeschooling teacher, a church member, a friend…I can identify with Nicole’s “busy season” (or probably more accurately, “busy life”) as described in her post earlier today. No doubt you can too. And if you are like me, you are ever on the lookout for ways to streamline and simplify your life. 

Well, I have found a quick and easy way to stay abreast of current issues (something I didn’t even think possible in this season) by reading Albert Mohler’s blog. Dr. Mohler has a unique ability to apply theology to culture. As my husband likes to say about him: “He has world-class discernment.”  I have found his blog extremely helpful as a one-stop briefing, if you will, on the happenings in the world around us. I would encourage you to read his blog and commentary regularly to benefit from his unique insights and perspective.

CJ is returning today from Louisville, having spent the last two days with Al and two other very good friends, Mark Dever, and Ligon Duncan. They were planning a conference that they will be hosting for pastors next year called "Together for the Gospel." Here is a link to the site if you want to check it out.

Dr. Mohler also has a daily radio show (which I highly recommend). Yesterday, he conducted an interview with Mark, Ligon, and C.J. that you also might enjoy. It’s 38 minutes long so you will have to plan accordingly. 

And may God bless you with wisdom, discernment, and strength today in the midst of the responsibilities that make up your busy life!

Feeling Overwhelmed

Feeling overwhelmed anyone? I've certainly felt that way more than once this week as I've started homeschooling my five-year old, tried to unpack the boxes in our bedroom, and prepared to leave for an out-of-town trip.

Lisa Donovan, a wonderful lady in our church, has compiled some thoughts on what to do when we feel overwhelmed. And she appropriately posted them in the nursing mom's room at our church--a room she has wonderfully designed to be both refreshing and encouraging to moms with newborns.

But these verses and godly counsel will help anyone who is feeling overwhelmed... with schoolwork, job responsibilities, children, or unpacked boxes. I trust it will encourage you as it has encouraged me. You can download it by clicking here.

A Matter of Minutes

Maybe it was reflecting back on family nights last week. Or possibly it was attending my nephew’s wedding this past Saturday. But for whatever reason, I have been thinking a lot about the brevity of life.

It seems only a short time ago that CJ and I were sitting on the floor playing Memory Game with our 3 girlies. It feels as if it was just yesterday when I caught Marcus (my nephew) hoisting up his co-conspirator cousin (my daughter Janelle) to fetch the forbidden candy on the top shelf of the cabinet. 

Yet each of my daughters and now Marcus are married.  As one author fittingly stated: It’s only a snap of the finger from diapers to tuxedos and wedding gowns.

In Holy Scripture we find David and Job comparing the span of our lives to a breath (Ps. 144:4; Job 7:7). A breath takes only a second or two! At least Moses gave us a little more time when he likened the length of our days to grass that lasts from morning to evening (Ps. 90:5,6). Even still—a half day is not very long!

Now if our lifespan is comparable to about 12 hours that means the seasons of our lives are only minutes long. Think about that. Whether you are a teenager, a single adult, a new bride, a mom with preschool children, an empty nester, or whatever your season—you have only a few minutes left before this season ends.

The problem is that sometimes we get so bogged down with daily life that we forget life is passing quickly. In fact many of us function as if our present season is going to last forever. 

John Calvin has a word for us in this regard.  He said:

“Whence proceeds the great stupidity of men, who, bound fast to the present state of existence, proceed in the affairs of life as if they were to live two thousand years…. In short, men are so dull as to think that thirty years, or even a smaller number, are, as it were, an eternity; nor are they impressed with the brevity of their life so long as this world keeps possession of their thoughts…. How speedily our life vanishes away.  The imagination that we shall have long life, resembles a profound sleep in which we are all benumbed.”

John Calvin, Heart Aflame, (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 1999), 219.

Let’s “wake up” to the fact that we have only a short time left in our present season.  More importantly, let’s live as if we have just a few minutes remaining.