GirlTalk Book Club Discussion

In chapter one, the spotlight is on Elizabeth Prentiss’ parents. The fruit of her life is in large part attributable to the grace of God she received through them at an early age. As Sharon James observes, “Elizabeth grew up in an atmosphere of deep and genuine piety” (p. 5).

Elizabeth always remembered her father—to whom she was very attached—for his “transparent godliness” (p. 11) and cherished fond memories of “playing games…telling stories, listening to jokes, and joining in whatever fun was going on” (p. 2).

About her mother, Elizabeth recalled, “If anything troubled our annoyed my mother she went straight into the ‘spare room,’ no matter how cold the weather, and we children know it was to pray. I shall never forget its influence over me” (p. 11).

What a remarkable legacy Edward and Louisa Payson left to their daughter—one we all benefit from even to this day.

How about you—what godly legacy have you received from your parents? Or—what kind of legacy do you hope to leave to your children?

We’d love to hear your answers to either or both of these questions.  So today, we want to try something new (for the girltalk blog anyway) and open up the comments feature for discussion.

Simply click on the “comments” option at the bottom of this post and type in your answer(s). Please note that we will be moderating this “discussion” and will edit or delete comments that are unhelpful, unrelated to this topic, or too long.

We hope to hear from as many of you as possible, so we can all be inspired to gratefulness for godly parents and faithfulness in parenting our own children.

Comments

[Sarai]

My parents have sacrificed and served their children for over twenty years, and they have ten of them (one of which has autism). They have home schooled us, and put as much time as possible into each of their "arrows" individually. My parents never cease to amaze me, but their actions always point to God. I know, as they readily admit, if it weren't for His mercy and love, their efforts would not have been so blessed by Him. I'm so thankful that I'm their daughter, and hope to point my own children to Christ with the same unflinching faith.

[Hannah]

My grandmother, of whom needs much(!) care, is now living with my family. My mother is a living example of "honoring your parents." She selflessly cares for my grandmother day and night, always putting my Grandmother's needs before hers. My mother's humility and servanthood shows each and every day as she cares for others. She is a wonderful role model of Biblical womanhood.

Though I am only a teenager, I hope in the future to leave a legacy to my children in which my love for the Lord would be evident always, that my passion for Him whom has saved me would show in all that I do.

[Katie]

Although I have wonderful parents, they are not christians. But, I have been taught by so many of the godly couples at my church. They have shown me what it looks like to be humble, transparent, and hospitible. I have grown so much because of their willingness to take me under their wings!!

[Stephenia]

My mom has taught me how to worship God not just at church, but in everyday life. Even at a young age I can remember my mom talking to me about worshiping God. She has been a huge example to me, especially through teen years. I thank God for being so gracious towards me by giving me a mother like her!

[Kristin Smith]

My parents aren't believers and my mother is a chronic worrier. She is always giving me articles about all the things that can bring harm to my kids or me. It is my desire to model the opposite of this to my kids. My tendency is to worry, as that is what was modeled for me. But I pray that with God's help I can teach my children that God is big enough to supply all of our needs. We need not fear or worry because God cares for his children. we are learning Philippians 4:6-7. This passage was very important to me as a young believer and continues to be today as a church planter's wife with very little guaranteed income.

[Carrie]

As I rock my little boys to bed at night, I pray aloud for their souls. I ask God to somehow use my sin-laden attempts to raise these boys to point them to the Savior. I don't pray aloud only for them to hear me, but I do hope that as they grow up hearing their Mommy (and Daddy) intercede for them, many times through tears, they will be left with a legacy of making Christ their treasure.

[Joanne]

My Mum and Dad modeled a life of sacrificial service as they worked as missionaries for 17 years. This was God's kindness to me, making it easier for me to go into full-time missionary service. My prayer is that my husband and I can serve with such joy that my children will see that we (and they) never sacrificed anything!

[courtney]

When I was 2 years old my dad was injured at work and for the next several years was unable to work full-time. My mom was a stay at home mom with several serious health issues and 3 small children, these were trying times financially. Yet,my parents never wavered in their faith and reliance on God. As an adult I have vivid memories of them praying and asking God to supply for our needs, and over and over again, He answered their prayers. Their faithfulness and perseverence in the midst of years of trials has stayed with me and I only hope to show my own sons that same faith!

[Shannon]

I hope to leave a legacy for my children. Although I love my mother very much, she is not a believer and raised me as a feminist. I spent a long time at the beginning of my conversion worried that I could never "catch up" to my peers who had been believers for so long. I had so much to undo in my mind. I was concerned that I would pass along ungodly ideas to my own children out of ignorance.

The Lord is so faithful! Although I have and will continue to sin before my children, I know that God has graciously allowed for me to also live out His grace and forgiveness as my mind is renewed each day.

As I read the letter from Mr. Payson to his sister just before his death, he was describing how close Heaven was and I could really feel how much he was looking forward to it. I hope my children will know that I feel the same way and that death is not the end. But while we yet live, we should always be growing and changing more and more into the image of Christ.

[Osheta Moore]

The legacy that I hope to leave for my children is a life that is truly affected by a passionate relationship with Jesus. Coming from a home what was very culturally Christian, I saw a lot of hypocrisy and inconsistency because my parents only believed in Jesus but we're unwilling to conform to Christ-likeness. That led to doubts and fears that I had to push pass to fall in love with Jesus and truly accept him. I want to make the gospel so attractive, by loving Jesus and allowing him to teach and change me. I want to cultivate a fertile ground with my love for Christ in their little hearts so that when the Lord calls, they will readily answer and experience him at a young age.

[Kim]

My oldest daughter and I are reading this book...I'm also reading *Girl Talk* with my 2 oldest daughters--it has been a great encouragement and guide for our discussions. We love our girl talk time in the afternoons while the little ones are napping! I just wanted to say thanks for that.

I have memories of my father sitting in his chair reading the bible..this influenced me...I only wish he had read it with me.

I love how Elizabeth's father showed mercy and love,when she did not deserve it...such a great picture of God's love for us,a lowly sinner.

Now,with our children,we are trying to live a legacy of love for God's Word...biblical conflict resolution,and joy in each day. We are having family worship time together which has been wonderful. We truly love God and want our children to see the importance of loving God in our lives!

Thanks so much for doing this! I love the book so far!

[Emma]

I hope that our children will know that they can depend on and trust God through anything, and that no thing is too small to take to Him, to pray about, and to seek God's will about.

[Sarah Cannavo]

Edward Payson's words "Since I have lost my will I have found happiness" made an impression on me...Wow - how free we could be by surrendering our wills to God. I am a somewhat "young" christian who often finds my biggest struggles when I am not getting what I want, or when things are not happening the way I think they should...especially when I'm not in control! My constant prayer is that His will be done...and for help that I will have peace with that will. God is so good to me as I have already found a greater ability to be at peace with circumstances...which has led to much more peace in my home (much to the benefit of my husband and two little children). I am often amazed at my "new discovery" - the affect of my happy attitude on my family (duh!! - ha, ha). I also took to heart a line on page 5 - "The daily demeanor of the children's parents mattered even more - whether they were kind, patient, & generous or impatient, harsh, and critical." I pray that God will continue helping me show my children and husband an example of patience, kindness and joy in having a Savior!

[Abby~]

As a young child, and something I remember to this day, and am passing on to my children is "God's watching, God's listening" It was something mom and dad said to us anytime we were about to leave the house, or when we were in conversations with others, or when we needed to cry out to God. Just being aware that GOD is everywhere and desires to be a part of ALL of our life.
In times of heartache, trouble, or despair, my parents pointed me to Jesus, to the Cross. Kept the focus on what really mattered. I pray I pass that legacy on.
And one more thing that I heard them say, and saw them live out.
"Every circumstance (situation) is an opportunity to trust, and every relationship is an opportunity to love."

[Melanie]

Although my parents divorced when I was 12 and I experienced the devastating effects of divorce and a family life that was not joyfull, they left a legacy that I am grateful for. We attended church every Sunday and were taught about Christ. I have known from a tender age that Jesus loved me and died for me. This hope of my salvation is what carried me through those hard years of family breakdown.
Now I have children of my own and I am grateful that I have been blessed with a second chance to be apart of a family. We hope to pass on the legacy of a passionate love for Christ and His church, along with the blessing of parents who love each other and a joyful, peaceful homelife.

[Catriona]

I have been extremely privileged to have godly parents. My Dad loved to talk about Christ and some of my earliest memories are of sitting eating my breakfast with my Dad telling me about what God had done in his life. This had a huge impact on me, and my husband and I are trying to do the same with our girls.

[Jenny Smith]

I am the youngest of nine and my mother was tragically killed when I was 5. My dad, many siblings and I were converted a few years later..Though my dad had his share of struggles after mom's death, he was a wonderful example of a man who excelled at evangelism and simple, yet meaningful hospitality.
Also, one of my older sister's (Cathy Bauers) was like a mother to me. Through her teen years and beyond she gave selflessly to care for me and my sisters. She would stay home from school to be with me when I was sick. She modeled Godliness to me in many ways. I remember getting up early in the morning and seeing her have her Quiet Time. She also was an example in the way she honored and respected our dad. To this day I would say no other woman has influenced me and helped me to grow in Godliness like she has.

[Jess]

I've only recently begun to realize how much my mother loves anybody and everybody - no matter where she met them, or what their story was. I grew up with that being "normal" and have just started to realize what a blessing that has been and how much that's influenced me.
My mom is also careful about how she talks about other people - and if she does say something she shouldn't, she's usually quick to apologize. And there's been times - especially when our church was going through some stuff and I'd be venting - that she'd stop me, and say that I'd said more than enough already and she didn't need to know. Which at the time wasn't what I wanted to hear - but it was very wise of her.

[Chris]

I read those words, "I shall never forget its influence over me” (p. 11), last night as I finished chapter one. I haven't been able to get away from them. My kids will be influenced by how I respond to life and what I do in those trying times. Do they observe me seeking God, running to a "spare room" for prayer, or will they only remember my harsh words and frustration during difficult times? I desire to have my children see me live out my relationship with God before them.

[Gill]

I was really struck in reading the chapter that a our role as parents is one of self sacrifice, and was also really convicted how easy it is to grumble or expect praise when the going gets tough with young children or husbands. I'm really praying at the minute that the Lord teaches me how to do the hard things graciously...looking to him for my strength...

[Liz]

A friend of mine recently made this comment about bringing up our daughter - that in some ways the best thing we can do for her is make her willing to be a nobody, if God should require it. Above all I want to teach her the humility that says "I can and shall do nothing unless God helps me"; I long to model the attitude of total dependence on our Lord. I catch myself thinking that I mustn't act in certain ways or say certain things now that we have a baby, or find myself criticising my husband if he acts less than perfectly in front of our daughter. Yet I realise also, more and more strongly, that we won't be able to avoid sinning completely, but what is more important is that we display hearts which sorrow and repent over our sin, and are not afraid to admit when we're wrong. In this way our child will not be intimidated by her parents' expectations of perfection, but encouraged by our example of humility and desire to walk closer with God.

[Abigail Perry]

Growing up in a very unstable home full of alcoholism and much verbal sin had it's challenges, but God's grace was evident. From late elementary school on, I was in church, where the Word was taught in such a way that I was able, even at a very young age, apply it to my life. And while they didn't apply it to their own lives (even today) for some reason they dropped us kids off for Sunday School and church nearly every week, and the ones they wouldn't a kind family in our church would drive all the way out to our home in the country to pick us up.
I've only been married two years and as of yet do not have children, but I look forward to the day, should God bless us with children, that we will be able to raise them in a Godly home. I know it will not be perfect, but what a privledge to pass on our faith to our children! I see what God has done in both my husband's and my own life and can only imagine the possibilities for a young person brought up in the 'nurture and admonition of the Lord'!!

[Kelly]

I am so thankful for my parents having a daily family devotion and prayer time with me and my brother. They were also wonderful at teaching us "along the path," always taking us along on their ministering (one was a teacher and one a counselor/minister). This focus on serving really impacted me.

I am trying to implement similar strategies, as well as learning from my parents' shortcomings. Integration of faith and learning is a focus in our home.

[Stephanie]

My Mom was and still is devoted wholeheartedly to my Dad. She always helped us children to see how hard Daddy worked, and how good he was to us. She pointed out the good in him (he is a very good man) and always loved him openly. We've all got our faults, but Momma never spoke disrespectfully of him to us or others. Her example has been a huge blessing to me as I seek to respect my husband!

[Trillia Newbell]

I would love to be a woman who would exercise repentance and running to the gospel for forgiveness. I will sin against my kids (maybe in anger or impatience) and I would love for them to see that mom needs the gospel just like they need the gospel. I would also love to be woman of prayer; praying for them, with them, and in secret. I have faith that God can do this! He promises to finish the good work He began!