girl talk

A Coronary Mom

These days you’ll find me at home changing diapers, picking up toys, helping Jack make pb&j’s (I do the peanut butter and he does the jelly), wiping spit-up off my clothes—and, here’s where it gets exciting—going to Wal Mart to purchase more diapers. (Hot Tip: I’ve found the White Cloud brand to be the best of the cheapest.)

My home is a long way from the community college campus where I used to serve as a ministry intern on behalf of my church—sharing the gospel and discipling girls every day. It’s a long way from the offices of Covenant Life Church where I organized women’s meetings and retreats for hundreds. It’s a very long way from Hungary and India where I traveled on short-term mission trips.

I love my life now, even if it doesn’t always seem as “exciting” or “significant” as what I used to do. Maybe that’s why this thought from John Piper—from his book The Roots of Endurance resonated with me:

“As I write this Preface I have just preached to my people several messages in which I pleaded with them to be ‘coronary Christians,’ not ‘adrenal Christians.’ Not that adrenaline is bad, I said; it gets me through lots of Sundays. But it lets you down on Mondays. The heart is another kind of friend. It just keeps on serving—very quietly, through good days and bad days, happy and sad, high and low, appreciated and unappreciated. It never says, ‘I don’t like your attitude, Piper, I’m taking a day off.’ It just keeps humbly lub-dubbing along. It endures the way adrenaline doesn’t. Coronary Christians are like the heart in the causes they serve. Adrenal Christians are like adrenaline—a spurt of energy and then fatigue. What we need in the cause of... [motherhood] is not spurts of energy, but people who endure for the long haul. Marathoners, not sprinters.”

Being a wife and mother—or doing any other long-term kingdom work—requires us to be “coronary Christians.” It requires faithfulness even when we don’t see the fruit. It requires joy in the mundane, unglamorous tasks. It calls for confidence that God will bless our gospel-motivated labors.

So if you are weary, discouraged, or even bored with the work God is calling you to today, join me in asking for God’s grace to be a “coronary Christian.”

Are You Prepared?

Each day, the topics we address on this blog may only apply to a slice of our audience. But when it comes to the topic of conflict, everyone can relate. Whether you’re a teenager with siblings or a parent with teenagers, a boss with employees or an employee with co-workers, a wife or one of the many husbands and fathers who read our blog. Whether you are five or fifty-five, you know all about relational conflict.

But just as we have all experienced conflict, so God’s Word offers hope to all of us in conflict. There is no marital strife, parent-child hostility, or relational discord that is too complicated for God’s wisdom, too persistent for God’s mercy or too difficult for God’s grace.

In an article entitled "Cravings and Conflicts" my dad unpacks the timeless and universal wisdom of James 4 to give us hope for resolving quarrels and fights. Even if you aren't in a conflict right now, you still need this truth. Because, as Dad observes, there's most certainly a conflict headed your way soon.

So, if you’re unprepared for the inevitable conflict or hopeless in the midst of conflict, be sure to read this article and receive fresh guidance and hope for resolving conflict.

One of Those Days

Today was “one of those days.” I woke up late and could barely keep my eyes open as I began my morning routine. I was behind schedule. All of my well thought out plans for my morning seemed lost. On days like this, the temptation to live by my emotions looms large. Complaining and grumbling were on my tongue. And then I read this, “We are TODAY accepted in the Beloved, TODAY absolved from sin, TODAY acquitted at the bar of God. Oh! Soul-transporting thought.” Mr. Spurgeon strikes again. My grumbling heart stood rebuked. Today is one of those days--one of those amazing days, which find me standing before the bar of God acquitted from all of my sin because of the death of Jesus Christ on my behalf. Yes, Mr. Spurgeon, this is a “soul transporting” thought.

Regardless of what this day holds for you, may the truth of your acceptance in the Beloved reign first in your heart. 

Regrets Resolved

I recently had a conversation with a woman who expressed regret over how she had parented her daughter. Mothers or not, we all have regrets. We are sinners, who, although "made anew by an unseen power of grace," (The Valley of Vision, "Man A Nothing") still await glorification in heaven some day.  Maybe our regrets are mild and nagging, or perhaps they overwhelm our everyday thoughts and stymie our progress in godliness.

Whenever I am tempted to wallow in regret over a mistake, an unwise decision, a sinful comment, I have often found encouragement in these thoughts from Charles Spurgeon:

“What is the use of regret unless we can rise by it to a better future? Sighs, which do not raise us higher, are an ill use of vital breath. Chasten yourselves, but be not discouraged. Gather up the arrows which aforetime fell wide of the mark, not to break them in passionate despair, but to send them to the target with direct aim, and a more concentrated force. Weave victories out of defeats. Learn success from failure, wisdom from blundering” (Spurgeon on Spiritual Leadership by Steve Miller, p. 93)

Let’s get off our mental couch of despair over past sins and mistakes. Let us not be like the one the apostle Peter describes as “so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins” (1 Peter 1:9) By the power of Christ, let’s be all the more diligent to make our calling and election sure (v. 10). Let’s weave victories out of defeat.

All Good Gifts

All the girltalkers awoke this morning feeling extra tired and a little achy (Nicole especially!) from having walked many miles over the past two days for our annual shopping trip. We say it every year, but it’s true once again: This trip was our best one yet! We had a blast together and were able to finish almost all our Christmas shopping to boot! 

How grateful I am for the friendship I enjoy with my three daughters. I’m even more thankful that they passionately love the Savior, ardently adore their husbands and children and delight in their homemaking careers, and faithfully serve in their local churches. I am a rich woman indeed!

However, I am freshly aware that this relational richness is not of my own making, but a gift from God. As my all time favorite preacher reminded us in his sermon on Sunday from 1 Corinthians 4:7: “What do you have that you did not receive?” Of course, the only right and appropriate answer to this question that Paul asks is: Absolutely nothing!

This reality should have a humbling effect on our souls and should produce expressions of gratefulness as we identify countless gifts throughout our day. Instead of arrogantly imagining we had something to do with all the blessings we enjoy, let’s recognize they come to us straight from Calvary.

For further (and more profound) thoughts on this topic, take some time to listen to my husband’s sermon. And may God receive the glory for all the good gifts He bestows—most of all, the gift of His Son.

How I Became a Christian

During his sermon on Sunday (the link is up, by the way!), Dad shared a well-known story from Charles Spurgeon, describing the origins of his understanding of the doctrines of grace:

One week-night, when I was sitting in the house of God, I was not thinking much about the preacher's sermon, for I did not believe it. The thought struck me, "How did you come to be a Christian" I sought the Lord. "But how did you come to seek the Lord?" The truth flashed across my mind in a moment--I should not have sought Him unless there had been some previous influence in my mind to make me seek Him. I prayed, thought I, but then I asked myself, How came I to pray? I was induced to pray by reading the Scriptures. How came I to read the Scriptures? I did read them, but what led me to do so? Then, in a moment, I saw that God was at the bottom of it all, and that He was the Author of my faith, and so the whole doctrine of grace opened up to me, and from that doctrine I have not departed to this day, and I desire to make this my constant confession, "I ascribe my change wholly to God."

When I consider, as Spurgeon did, the question, "How did I become a Christian?" my first thought is: because of my parents. I was taught the truths about Christ and His work on the cross from a little child. The Christian faith is all I ever knew. But why was I attracted to my parent’s faith? Why did I personally repent from my sins and put my trust in Christ? Why have I persevered in my Christian walk? When I pursue the answers, as Spurgeon did, I come--as I must--to the same conclusion: "God was at the bottom of it all…He was the Author of my faith." It was He who placed me in a Christian family. It was He who made my parent’s faith attractive to me. It was Christ who drew me to Himself. And ultimately, it is His grace that sustains me to the end.

What a comfort and a joy the doctrines of grace are. I am not a Christian because of the family I was born into or because of my own efforts. For then what confidence would I have to persevere? Rather, I am a Christian because, in the mystery of His mercy, Christ chose me.

Likewise, this doctrine inspires faith to pray for my own children. I cannot create little Christians. I cannot, by all my own efforts bring them into the kingdom. Although it is my privilege and responsibility to share the gospel with my children, only Christ can draw their hearts to His truth. Lord, may you reveal yourself to my boys. May they one day say with Mr. Spurgeon: "I ascribe my change wholly to God!"

My Typical Un-Typical Sunday

Yesterday was a typical and not so typical Sunday. 

First of all, nobody had a runny nose and I was able to attend church! Not typical.

I dressed my boys in their cute new fall clothes. They all looked quite handsome, I do have to say. We made it all the way to church without any spills, rips, or buttons popping off. Again, not typical.

After dropping each of the boys off at their Sunday school classes, I went into the service for worship. I arrived during the second song. Typical, I’m afraid. But I’m working hard to be on time!

Yesterday’s service is one I would have been especially disappointed to miss because my favorite preacher—my dad—was speaking. This occurrence is not so typical, since he no longer leads Covenant Life Church. I know I’m biased, but I have to brag on him a little because he did an incredible job! Listen for yourself and see if you don’t agree.

What a powerful and holy time it is to hear God’s Word preached. Typical? Yes. But on the other hand, never typical!

A Letter for Chad (and for you)

We’ve already spoken about Chad’s birthday several times this week. Before we leave this event to the family history books, we want to share one of Chad’s letters with you. As Mom explained on Monday, she and Dad wanted Chad to hear the “voices” of godly men he respects on this special occasion. To read Chad’s book of letters is to realize what a precious gift he has received in the lives and the words of these men.

One of the men who kindly wrote Chad a letter was Dad’s friend, David Powlison. While each letter was uniquely moving, Dr. Powlison’s words were not only applicable to a thirteen year old boy progressing toward manhood, but have been an encouragement to us all. So much so, that Dad even used this letter in a recent counseling situation, and we couldn’t refrain from asking permission to share it with all of you.

Please don’t skim this letter or read it too quickly. It is priceless biblical guidance from a wise man for all of us—young and old. I’m willing to bet you won’t get through it without being moved to tears as you contemplate the mercy of God in your life. So, please read it as if it was written to you. Then share it with a friend.

In Conflict, Anyone?

Nicole has an article on Crosswalk.com’s family channel on the subject of mother-daughter conflict. However, mothers and daughters aren’t the only ones who may experience strife in their relationship. We are sinful people living and working and doing church with other sinful people. The reality of conflict is something we are all too familiar with.

Sadly, we are far less familiar with the grace God gives to those who respond to conflict with humility. In his message “Cravings and Conflicts” on which Nicole’s article is based, my husband examines James 4 and God’s truth that transforms our conflicts. The bad news is that conflict is much worse than we think. But the great news is that it is also simpler and easier to resolve conflict than we think, because of Jesus Christ.

So if you are presently experiencing relational discord of any kind, read this article, listen to this message, and find God’s solution to conflict.

Maybe This Year...

Do you do this too? Each year I make my New Year's resolutions, but without planning to, I set New Year's hopes too. I picture myself at the following new year, happily contented, having received my heart’s greatest desires.

When I was single, it was the desire for a husband. Maybe this year, he will come. I couldn’t see “him” anywhere and yet I would imagine myself married by the following new-year, or at least with a potential young man in sight by then. Maybe “This Year” was holding him in the wings.

But marriage didn’t cure this hope-setting habit. This year I desire to have another child. So, predictably, I picture myself excitedly telling my husband we’re pregnant, or pushing a stroller into church. Maybe this year.

In a meditation by this title from her book, Keep A Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliot encourages a radically different New Year's hope:

“Will the young woman find a mate? Will the couple have a child? Maybe this year will be the year of desire fulfilled. Perhaps, on the other hand, it will be the year of desire radically transformed, the year of finding, as we have perhaps not yet truly found, Christ to be the All-Sufficient One, Christ the ‘deep sweet well of Love’” (page 49, emphasis mine).

This year I’m setting a new hope along with my resolutions, that 2006 might be a year of desires radically transformed. “Lord, this year, would you please dissolve all my desires into a single one: to know You. Please tear down all the idols of my heart that I set up in a row at the new year. Please give me an all-consuming passion to know you, a consistent joy in the forgiveness of my sins, and a constant delight in the glory of Christ. May this be a year of finding you to be the All-Sufficient One.”

“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:7-8a).