girl talk

Q&A and Personal Reflection

Well, once again we are going to defer Q&A for another Wednesday. For all of you who have sent in questions--we have not forgotten about you! We've saved all the questions in our folder and will continue to try to answer them. You may have sent a question in June and figured it was lost in cyberspace somewhere. But keep checking back. One day you might be pleasantly surprised to find we've attempted to answer your question!

On a different matter, we have received several requests for a downloadable pdf version of Dr. Powlison's Personal Reflection, and he has graciously agreed to allow us to make it available to you. We hope everyone who reads this blog will download this material, re-read it, and apply it often. We don't say this lightly: many questions can be answered as we simply learn to bring Scripture into the details of our lives.

(Personal Reflection, copyright Dr. David Powlison, editor of the Journal of Biblical Counseling, published by the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation.)

Personal Reflection Part Six

When we were little, my dad would sometimes tease us by saying: "I've got bad news and I've got good news...which do you want to hear first?" In this case, the "bad" news is that this is the final post of the Personal Reflection by David Powlison. (Click here to read previous installments.) However, the good news is that this concluding portion contains recommendations from Dr. Powlison of Scriptures, articles, and books for further study in the areas of anger, anxiety, and escapism.

And the very good news is that God has blessed Dr. Powlison with an abundance of biblical wisdom which is available in many other articles and books. We hope, that like us, you too have become big David Powlison fans (if you weren't already). And we want to vigorously encourage you to take advantage of the resources available by him, and the other godly folks at the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation.

We want to mention just a few before offering the conclusion to the Personal Reflection.

1. The Journal of Biblical Counseling, edited by David Powlison -- we've mentioned it before on this blog, but if you haven't yet subscribed to THE Journal (that's what we call it around our house), do it now! Better yet, consider it as a truly life-changing Christmas gift for friends and family.

2.  Seeing with New Eyes -- this excellent book by David Powlison includes many of his best articles from the Journal, including several recommended below.

3. Speaking Truth in Love: Counsel in Community -- Dr. Powlison's new book, due out this month!

Personal Reflection, cont.
by David Powlison

For Further Study

Anxiety:
•    1 Peter 5:7 offers a particularly condensed version of themes we have been discussing: “Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.”  A specific promise from God meets us in the variety of our cares.  As you really hear this promise and call, anxiety must yield to faith.  The parable of the sower has a pointed challenge to the corrosive power of anxiety (Matt. 13:22, Mark 4:19, Luke 8:14).

•    “Peace, be Still:  Learning Psalm 131 by Heart” (Journal of Biblical Counseling, 18:2 and in Seeing with New Eyes, P&R, 2003).  This psalm is the finest example of how restless souls learn peacefulness!

•    “Don’t Worry” (Journal of Biblical Counseling, 21:2 and in Seeing with New Eyes, P&R, 2003)

Anger:
•    Galatians 5:6, 5:13-6:10.  Notice how the sins related to anger comprise 8 of the 15 works of the flesh that Paul samples in 5:19-21, as well as his introductory and concluding examples (5:15 and 5:25).  Notice how it addresses both motives (lusts/cravings of the flesh as voices that contend with the voice and desires of the Holy Spirit) and lifestyle (works of the flesh, the behaviors and emotions that contend with the fruit of the Spirit).  Notice how repeatedly, specifically, and variously God reveals himself in order to produce faith working through love.

•    3 articles on anger by David Powlison (Journal of Biblical Counseling, 14:1, 14:2, 16:1)

Escapism/addiction:
•    Consider the dozens of psalms of refuge.  Each calls us to the opposite of sinful escapism in the midst of the pressures of life.  Psalm 55 is particularly vivid on the impulse to escape troubles, rightly directed.

•    Galatians 5:13-6:10 (see above).  Notice that the first three and last two works of the flesh are escapist sins.  See also Romans 13:12-14.  Here the first of four examples are in the escapist family of sins (and the last two are anger-family sins).  Notice how horizontal sins are addressed in relation to heart issues (when desires of the flesh rule--deeds of the darkness; when faith puts on the Lord Jesus Christ--daylight lifestyle)

•    Ed Welch, Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave (P&R, 2001)

Trials:
•    “Suffering and Psalm 119” (Journal of Biblical Counseling, 22:4, Speaking Truth in Love, 2005) God has much bigger goals than just solving our personal problems. He wants us to KNOW Him—and along the way that changes us, too. Psalm 119 is an example of the interpersonal/conversational nature of living, talking faith.

Personal Reflection Part Five

This week we have received biblical and intensely relevant counsel for overcoming the sins of anger, anxiety, and escapism. As common as these sins are, we face many other temptations as well: selfishness, arrogance, lust, greed, vanity...and I'm just getting started.

Mindful of this reality, Dr. Powlison has provided us with eight questions that will help us recognize what sinful desire is ruling our heart, identify what the Bible says to us in our specific situation, and take actives steps to repent and change.

In my own efforts to apply God's Word to my life, nothing has helped me more than these eight questions. I've used them countless times, and I have no doubt you will too.

Personal Reflection, cont.
by Dr. David Powlison

Questions

1.    What is your situation?  What are you facing?

2.    How do you react?  How are you typically tempted to react?

3.    What rules you, capturing your heart?  What do you want? Fear? Believe?

4.    What does God in Christ say and do that enters, addresses, and changes everything?

5.    Respond to God from the heart.  Listen.  Turn. Trust.  Come.  Seek.  Ask.  Talk.   Transact.

6.    Respond constructively into your situation.  Speak.  Act. Don’t do.

Personal Reflection Part Four

I spend most of my days joyfully chasing three small boys. However, there are some days when I’m the one who wants to run away and hide in the bathroom. For those of us mothers with young children, the desire to “escape” and find comfort, relief, and pleasure in something other than God is a pronounced temptation. But all of us can succumb to this ungodly way of dealing with trials, both big and small. In this portion of his Personal Reflection, Dr. Powlison will offer us a guide to how, “Faith works out into a right longing to escape trouble and to help others in their troubles.” (Click here to read the previous posts in this series.)

Personal Reflection, cont.
by Dr. David Powlison

Escapism

1.    Ponder the following passages from Psalm 31.

“In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge…Into your hand I commit my spirit…You have seen my affliction; you have known the troubles of my soul…Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress.  My eye is wasted away from grief…Make your face to shine upon your servant; save me in your lovingkindness.  How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you have wrought for those who take refuge in you, before the sons of men!  You hide them in the secret place of your presence from the conspiracies of man; you keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues…Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD.”

Read it over 3-4 times.  Take it slowly.  Emphasize different sentences, phrases, words.  Notice the troubles he faces, and how open he is about his experience.  Jesus quoted this psalm as he was dying.  Notice also how persistently he calls on the character and promises of God.  What most strikes you about this passage as you think about it in comparison to the “false refuges” where you tend to turn when the heat is on?

2.    Now work through our six questions.

Situtation:  What difficult circumstances trigger your avoidance and escapism?

________________________________________________________________________

Reaction:  How do you tend to express pleasure-, safety-, and comfort-seeking (thoughts and fantasies, ‘addictions, ‘vices’, emotions, behavioral choices to avoid or procrastinate)?

________________________________________________________________________

Motive: What “false refuges” do you flee to?  What things, activities, and feelings do you turn into your god, your strong tower of safety, your comforter from trouble?

________________________________________________________________________

Message:  What specific things does God reveal about Himself (right in this passage), that bid to do battle with your escapism?  ______________________________.  Fan out into the surrounding sentences, backwards and forwards into the psalm.

Turn:  Bring the real you, in your real world, to this real Savior and Father.  Have a real conversation about what matters.  Talk to God about all these things.  Look how honest David (and Jesus) are in this psalm. They honestly experience the difficult circumstances, and come to God about these experiences, interacting with specific things about God.

Respond:  What are you now called to do (and to not do)?  What specific action will express how faith-working-through-love replaces false-refuge-working-through escapism?  What are innocent pleasures?  What can and should you do right now?  Or when you get back home later today?  Or tomorrow when you face your typical difficulties? 

________________________________________________________________________

3.    Worship is the opposite of being an escaper and false refugee. 
What “consolations to delight your soul” do the hymns, ("Jesus what a friend for sinners" & "How firm a foundation" ) offer, give, proclaim, embrace, hope in, delight in?

Personal Reflection Part Three

The girls and I planned who would post this week by determining which topic was most applicable to each of us, so that we could provide a personal introduction. I had a difficult time choosing, because I struggle--equally I think--with all three of these sins. (By the way, if you are checking out the blog for the first time this week, you will need to read Monday and Tuesday’s entries to understand what I’m talking about.) Needless to say, I am benefiting greatly from Dr.Powlison’s invaluable biblical counsel. In fact, so much so, I have taken a brief detour from my normal study during my morning devotions and I'm studying this material instead.

Speaking of detours, we will not be doing our normal Q & A post today. We think that the wisdom Dr. Powlison is providing will serve to answer many of the questions we receive far better than we could. We hope you agree and we pray that you are benefiting from this rich counsel as much as we are!

Personal Reflection, cont.
by David Powlison

Anger

1.    Ponder the following passage from Ephesians.

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.  Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.  Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma”  (Ephesians 4:29-5:2).

Read it over 3-4 times.  Take it slowly.  Emphasize different sentences, phrases, words.  Where do you tend to misfire in this area?  Notice how God boxes us in: you can’t “keep to yourself” (bitterness), or “go to the other person” (wrath and anger), or “go to other people” (clamor and slander)!  We are driven to deal with our attitudes before God, and then deal constructively and mercifully with others.  Notice how persistently Paul puts specifics about the Lord into the picture.  He knows we need strong and sweet-tasting medicine in order to deal with anger.  What most strikes you about this passage?

2.    Now work through our six questions.

Situation:  What circumstances trigger your anger or complaining? What pushes your buttons?

________________________________________________________________________

Reaction:  How do you express anger (thoughts, emotions, actions)? 

________________________________________________________________________

Motive:  What are your “buttons”? 
I want _____________________. 
I must have____________________. 
At all costs, I don’t want _______________ and must avoid it.

Message:  What specific things does God reveal about Himself (right in this passage), that bid to do battle with your angry reactions? 

________________________________________________________________________

You might also start to fan out into the surrounding sentences in Ephesians.

Turn:  Bring the real you in your real world to this Savior and Father.  Have a conversation about what matters.  Talk to God about these things.  It is a huge step to verbalize out loud that our “buttons” (idols, cravings) are core sins, and to verbalize that we need the very mercies that are held out as our example.  Christ is not a “model” that we watch from afar and then seek to emulate. Rather, he actually treats us with mercy, so we experience his mercy.  By doing mercy to us, he teaches us up close and personal to show mercy to others.

Respond:  What are you now called to do (and to not do)?  What specific actions express how faith-working-through-love replaces craving-working-through-anger?  What can and must you do right now that is merciful?  Or when you get back home later today?

________________________________________________________________________

3.    Worship is the opposite of anger & grumbling.
What “consolations to delight your soul” do the hymns, ("Jesus, what a friend for sinners" & "How firm a foundation") offer, give, proclaim, embrace, hope in, delight in?

Personal Reflection Part Two

This Personal Reflection on anxiety is excellent application of the little paragraph that we read this morning.  I call this a “sit down and stay a while” kind of post.  I would encourage each of you to set aside some time to work through this material.  Don’t read it and quickly move on.  There isn’t one of us who can claim innocence when it comes to the sin of anxiety.  Dr. Powlison is both direct and gentle in his words as he leads us through a Scriptural perspective and a plan of action for change.  I am so grateful for this material as I daily fight my own battle against anxiety.

So have a seat, (at this point, I would also recommend getting your favorite snack), and ask the Lord to speak to you as you read.

Personal Reflection, cont.
by David Powlison

Anxiety

1. Ponder the following passage from Psalm 94.

“When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, your consolations delight my soul” (Psalm 94:19).

Read it over 3-4 times.  Take it slowly.  Emphasize different words and phrases.  Where do you tend to misfire regarding worry, fear, uncertainty, obsession?  What most strikes you now as you think about how this voice of faith talks about his experience of both anxiety and the Lord?

2. Now work through our six questions.

Situation:  What circumstances tend to arouse your specific worries and preoccupations?

________________________________________________________________________

Reaction:  How does anxiety typically show up in you?  (thought patterns, feelings, behaviors, inner obsession)

________________________________________________________________________

Motive:  What erases God from your universe, hijacking the controls of your heart?  Get as specific as possible.  Our lusts and lies are evasive and deceitful, but to identify them is like publishing a picture of your enemy.

I want __________________________________________.
I fear (don’t want) _______________________________.
I believe ________________________________________.
If only ________________________, then everything would be fine.

Message:  What specific “consolations” bid to delight you and reclaim you?  Start to branch out from Psalm 94:19, working backwards and forwards into the surrounding sentences.  What brought this worried man delight?  You might also consider Psalm 103, Numbers 6:24-26, or Exodus 34:5-10 to prime your pump.

________________________________________________________________________

Turn:  Bring the real you, in your real world, to your real Savior.  Weave together situation, reaction, motive, and message.  Pick one specific “consolation” to focus on.  Have an honest conversation with your Father about what matters--out loud, not just spinning words within the anxious chambers of your mind!  Honor Him. Give Him thanks.  Need Him.  Ask. Plead. Confess. Delight. Notice. Remember.

Respond:  What are you now called to do (and to not do)?  What specific actions will express how faith-working-through-love replaces idolatry-working-through-worry?  What exactly can and should you do right now?  Later today?  Tomorrow?

________________________________________________________________________

3. Worship is the opposite of anxiety. 
What “consolations to delight your soul” do the hymns, ("Jesus, what a friend of sinners" & "How firm a foundation") offer, give, proclaim, embrace, hope in, delight in?

Small Doses

I think Nicole might have secretly designed this week to send me a message about my need for some accelerated spiritual growth!  Wasn't yesterday's personal reflection from Dr. Powlison excellent?  We have more of the same for you today except packed full with more specifics.  The following quotes set the stage for today's discussion on anxiety.  I found these thoughts particularly helpful because small doses are about all my little brain can handle.  This principle, which we will learn more about over this coming week, has potential to be life-changing.  Part 2 of the Personal Reflection on anxiety will be up later today.  Enjoy...

“Just as we don’t change all at once, so we don’t swallow all of truth in one gulp. We are simple people. You can’t remember ten things at once. Invariably, if you could remember just ONE true thing in the moment of trial, you’d be different. When you actually remember, you actually change. In fact remembering is the first change…”

David Powlison, Sex and the Supremacy of Christ

“Connect one bit of Scripture to one bit of life. In other words, always ask two questions of yourself and others: What is your current struggle? What about God in Christ connects to this?...Bring one bit of the Bible into one bit of life…You can’t deal with it all at once. Scripture never does…But a timely text brings truth down to a consumable size…change walks out in the details…This is how God made it to be. This is how He works.”

David Powlison, "Think Globally, Act Locally," Journal of Biblical Counseling, Volume 22, Number 1, (Fall 2003): 2-10.

Personal Reflection Part One

This first portion of Dr. Powlison’s Personal Reflection is an introduction, and includes some general comments on biblical change in the areas of anxiety, anger, and escapism. As with all of Dr. Powlison's writings, these words are infused with grace and the hope for change that comes from the gospel.

At the conclusion, Dr. Powlison encourages an unusual and yet extremely helpful reading (and singing along with!) several well-known hymns. You can click on the link to view the hymns and then follow Dr. Powlison’s suggestions. These hymns provide a wonderful picture, a model of a heart transformed by God's truth. If your experience is anything like mine, you'll never read hymns or psalms the same way again! 

Personal Reflection
by Dr. David Powlison

Anxiety, anger, and escapism are common life problems, in both senses of ‘common’: everyday, every person.  They are sins endemic to the human condition and to our struggle.  And they are doorways through which the grace and mercies of Jesus Christ daily invade lives.

This life, therefore, is not righteousness but growth in righteousness,
not health but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise.
We are not yet what we shall be but we are growing toward it.
The process is not yet finished but it is going on.
This is not the end but it is the road.
All does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.
--Martin Luther

In each case, we see three things:

1.     It feels like we have good reasons to react with sinful anxiety, hostility, and escapism.  The pressures, heat, difficulties, threats, frustrations, wrongs, beguilements of life come at us--and reveal what rules our hearts.

2.    God gives better reasons, truer reasons, deeper reasons, imperishable reasons--Himself, reclaiming our hearts--that we learn to respond with faith working through love.

3.    The inworking and outworking of faith and love produces the holy anxiety of caring concern (wrapped within deep trust).  Faith works through love to produce just anger (wedded to generous mercies).  Faith works out into a right longing to escape trouble and to help others in their troubles (alongside hearty enjoyment of innocent pleasures).

We’ve laid out a model, a picture, a map of the terrain of battle.  A map is useful for orienting you, but it does not get you there.  Our goal is to relate to our God honestly, intelligently, believingly, in ways that change us in real time, real place, real problem.

1.    Take one of these three common sins to face and tackle this day.  Your Father is the vinedresser, putting his pruning shears into your life:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there is any hurtful way in me; and lead me in the everlasting way” (Ps. 139:23f).

2.    Whichever of the common deviancies you’re choosing, first read and ponder these hymns (and, if you’re so moved, sing with heart and voice!).  Notice how we’ve parsed the hymns,

--The pressures of life are described in italics, those things (‘good reasons’) that provoke us to anxiety, anger, escapism.  These are the circumstances within which our battle plays out.

--The Lord’s promises and self-disclosures come in bold, these invitations (‘better reasons’) to live differently.  These are ways the Redeemer enters human life.  Notice how these things that God says compete with the voices and pressures that woo and provoke us towards anger/grumbling, fear/anxiety, escapism/addiction.

--Our responses of faith are underlined.  This is the heart of change.

Read all the italics.  Then read all the bolds.  Then read all the underlinings.  Then worship.

Help for Change

It is an exciting week here at the Girl Talk Blog; and I predict, life-changing for some. We have received permission to make available to you what we consider to be “blogging gold.” Every day this week, we will post a portion of a Personal Reflection from one of our favorite authors and biblical counselors: Dr. David Powlison.

If you ever wrestle with anxious thoughts, if you struggle to control outbursts of anger, if you consistently retreat in the face of conflict or trial (can anyone identify yet?) then you are about to receive your own personal counseling session from one of the most wise and gentle counselors of our day. And the good news is: it’s free!

Much more importantly, however, it is thoroughly biblical counsel. Sadly, much of what is considered “Christian Counseling” today—while a sincere attempt to help others—more closely resembles modern psychology than Scripture rightly interpreted.

By contrast, Dr. Powlison will provide for us a Scriptural model for overcoming sin. He will then focus on these three areas of anxiety, anger, and escapism in particular. I would encourage you not to skim over these posts or read them on the fly; but carve out some time to really meditate and study these words. Use them in your quiet time if you’re so inclined.

None of us will overcome anger or anxiety simply by reading these words. No blog can change your life. However, if through the power of the Holy Spirit, we apply these truths from God’s Word, we will experience God’s grace to change.

So, may we encourage you to read carefully and apply diligently this week?  God, in His kindness, has provided this wisdom. And He is eager to help us obey.

“Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge, for it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, if all of them are ready on your lips. That your trust may be in the Lord, I have made them known to you today, even to you." Proverbs 22:17-19.

We’ll post the first installment later today.